‘ On my first day of the work week, my true love gave to me…One fired employee.
On my second day of the work week, my true love gave to me…another fiiiiired employee (one is such a lonely number).
On my third day of the work week, my true love gave to me…One misdirected email. Oooops!
On my fourth day of the week, my true love gave to me…One cold, witchy boss.
Happy Friday!!!Whooooohooooooooo! Yeah…not really.
Now lets end the week with a death threat! (Yes, a death threat!)’
Anyone who can manage to keep a smile on their face and not wolf down a pound of donuts after all of this bullshit is my hero. I was not a hero, Folks!
Although I am proud that I made it through this week without jumping out of a window or practicing a few MMA moves on a few people, I must admit that it has taken a toll. Days like these normally send me into a downward spiral in terms of eating, but I stayed strong until the weekend when I found myself in familiar territory. I went home for good ol’ Labor Day and my ability to make healthy decisions decided to take a break also. I made an effort to cook vegetables and quinoa for a healthy, sexy salad (Salad Challenge), but this good girl went wild.
I broke down quite a bit, but in all honesty, I just didn’t have the energy to think about too much crap or focus on being a “good” and “healthy” girl. I lifted the mental drawbridge and let the binge monster out. However, in time that just became pointless and did nothing to make my week from hell disappear. The reality is it happened, it’s over, and I should be enjoying being around my family. I thought, “You know what you need? A brain laxative. Yeah, something to help loosen up all of that mental clutter and get the shit out of your head.”
So what exactly is a Brain Laxative? Something positive that forces out negative thoughts! For example:
Monday, I found myself at work doing Zumba moves in the bathroom stall. There was flushing to my left, flushing to right, and there I was in the middle, humming, “Mosa, mosa, asi me voce mata” and gettin’ down wit’ my bad self. I had to find something positive to take my mind off of the negative energy around me. Maybe this will be my daily ‘Brain Laxative’ for work matters. Much better than a brain ‘fart’ wouldn’t you say? HA HA HAHAHAHA! (Goofiness is starting to take over…it’s getting closer to bedtime.)
It also occurred to me that I have so much to be grateful for and to celebrate. My niece noticed a flatter tummy (thank you, Jillian Michaels), my sexy pleather (Sex-aayy), white jeans, and Dabbler Girl Scout badge came in the mail, my good friend finally took a chance and moved to Philadelphia to begin a new and awesome challenge in her life, I didn’t have to get my arthritic knee drained (oh, boy), I had the opportunity to take part in a ceremony acknowledging 18 years passing since the horrible car accident that took away my niece’s ability to walk at the age of two (it was her courageous idea to perform the ceremony instead of feeling depressed), and I had an opportunity to spend quality time with family.
Are you feeling all of this positive lovin’? Yep, Folks, that’s the power of a Brain Laxative! Flushing the BS. Take one or two BLs for yourself and drink with plenty of water!