I’m feeling very euphoric right now and I’m blaming it on the delicious veggies I’ve been cramming into my belly. I’ve come to realize that everyone has that something that makes them feel insecure or not good enough. Sometimes when I see a beautiful girl I feel slightly envious that I don’t have her legs, clear skin or boobs, but I also have the ability to see the beauty in another individual who is just as gorgeous because she has a great smile, awesome personality, and a heart of gold. She may not have a J. Lo booty or bangin’ body, but she’s hot. It’s definitely possible to be breath takingly (I love to invent new words) beautiful on the outside and be a complete bitch on the inside, but I won’t hold it against you. Everyone’s entitled to a bad day every once in a while.
I’ve also been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve learned a lot in almost 29 years, but I’ve got a lot more trouble to get into. I’m a big kid at heart and there are times when I want to say screw everything, I’m going to pack my bags, catch a flight to Peru, and find myself. Whatever that means. I’ve always admired the bike rack people who drive pass you on the highway with their bikes attached to the back or roof of their SUV. I wonder where they are going or where they are coming from and damnit, can I go too? I am that person, but I’ve been hiding behind fear for sometime now and I was not meant to live under a rock. There is a big beautiful world to see, lots of love to be made, and trust me people, you won’t experience any of this just sitting on your ass.
I have made up my mind to be the person that I’ve always known myself to be. For years I have identified myself based on the way others view me. To many I’m known as the sweet girl, the nice girl, the friendly girl, the smart girl and that’s nice and all, but I’m so much more than that. I’ve got wild dreams and sexy thoughts, I’ve loved and lost and felt pain that has made into a better person and hopefully, a better lover. When I run it’s not just for exercise. I run so that I can move forward towards having a healthier life. I’m not running away from my problems, but instead, running towards positive living and a healthier me. Life is what you make it. Don’t just sit and wait for life to pass you by. Be a part of your future and live like your ass depends on it.