I’ve been following a weight loss channel called WeightLossLosers via Youtube that was created by the awesome, Antishay and friends. It has been a while since the crew decided to stop vlogging (video blogging), but SURPRISE, SURPRISE…Antishay is back? But where are the others? Interestingly enough, although everyone supported her in the beginning of her weight loss journey, many people are now putting her down for gaining weight during her absence. Can you believe it? What a joke!
I remember having the opposite problem when I lost the first 80 pounds or so. I remember people giving me strange looks or trying to avoid having a conversation with me. Sometimes people would look me up and down as if I had betrayed them or told one of their dirty little secrets. In time I started to learn what they were really thinking:
“She looked better when she was bigger.”
“She thinks she’s better than us.”
“You’re still fat,” says the jealous, ex.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, People! It was very difficult being a teenager and often mistaken for a 30-year-old woman simply because weight has the tendency to age you. It ages you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Standing 5’7 and weighing 253 pounds at the age of 18 was not my idea of living. In retrospect, I was slowly killing myself. That is the downfall of living in ‘the land of trans fat and the not so fat-free.’ I sometimes refer to the U.S. as a suicidal nation because we are slowly killing ourselves with food. There is this sick cycle of food inventions, genetically modified food competitions between scientists and the government some would say. I have even heard others say that do not want to live in a country where people are able to get rich from making others sick. This isn’t a political blog by any means, but I must admit, I can see their point. It just saddens me that we live in a society where looks and weight are more important than actual health. You don’t have to be overweight to have a heart attack, you know? Had I continued to feed my depression and emotional emptiness with food, I would have continued to lower my life expectancy and increase my risk for diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and the list goes on. As an African-American woman, I am at a much greater risk of developing these things simply because of biology and genetics.
Personally, I think I look better now, but that is the least of my concerns. I want to be healthy and a role model for those who can find some sort of inspiration through this blog or for those who see me busting it out at the gym. I do not want to be stick thin or to look like a photoshopped celebrity on the cover of a magazine. I can only speculate as to why some people have made these comments, but that doesn’t matter. I would rather someone ask me about my motivation to lose weight as oppose to judging me without reason.